Deathbed confessions

A few days ago, one of our church family members passed away. There was an unexpected cancer diagnosis, and eight weeks later our dear friend Beth passed into eternity.

As a pastor I have had the honour of walking with many people in the last days of their life. I have heard confessions, regrets, celebrations, and grief - not only from the person dying, but also the people who knew them.

Humanity can be deeply introspective and vulnerably truthful when death is in the air.

It is a very normal human response to look back at life and have regrets. We are not perfect people. We can’t live life without making mistakes. We sometimes make bad choices, and as we grow older and wiser, we look back at those choices, and think, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently.”

My church friend, although a fantastic human being, still was not perfect. But she followed Jesus as best she could. As an artist, she took the talent and gift God gave her and sowed seeds of beauty and creativity all around her. As a church community member, she sowed seeds of love and service whenever she could.

And even though Beth felt these seeds were small and little, not amounting to much, the wonderful truth about seeds is that when they are well-tended, they grow. And because God tends good things, when we sow seeds of beauty and love in the world around us and in the people around us, he waters them and helps them grow.

When you sow good seeds, God will not let them go to waste.

PAUSE and REFLECT: As we journey through life, we make decisions, say words, and unwittingly sow seeds wherever we go. In fact, the question is not "Are you sowing seeds?" (because you are). The real question is, "What kind of seeds are you sowing?"

Even though I have heard many things from dying people, there are some things I have not heard from a person on their death bed. Never once have I heard a person say. “I regret I followed Jesus." Never once have I heard, "I regret the kind words I said or the kind acts I did. I regret that I loved people honestly and deeply.” I have never heard a family member say "I regret I told [dying person] I love them this morning."

But I have heard regret about harsh words, angry hearts, and selfish living.

So let us not waste our time by living selfishly or fearfully, but instead let us live with faith, kindness, and compassion. Selfish and fearful living always lead us to regret.

Sow seeds of love and beauty around you. I’m not talking massive actions. Just small seeds – a kind word, holding the door open for someone, allowing others to go first. Or, if you want, massive actions. The point isn’t the size of the action, but the intent of the heart.

God will not waste the love and beauty you sow. He will honour it, water it, tend it, and allow that seed to blossom and bear fruit.

What is one small seed God wants you to sow today?