Resume virtues vs Eulogy virtues
When was the last time you attended a work training session, or went to a conference or workshop intended to develop your skills? What skills were you developing? Something to do with software or project management? Maybe you were learning the latest and greatest thing to come into your industry or getting ideas and inspiration on how to do your job better?
Chances are it was something that would look good on your resume going forward: "Adept at Microsoft Excel..." "Certified in Quickbooks bookkeeping..." "Experience in project management..."
These are great skills to have, and we are wise to keep learning skills and virtues that will serve us well in the workplace and in our career. However, in the grand scheme of life, most of these skills and virtues are of secondary importance.
I recently came across an interesting concept attributed to David Brooks: resume virtues vs eulogy virtues.
"It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful."
~ David Brooks
In other words, there are two distinct lists of virtues - those that look good on your CV and those that leave a lasting impression of love and character on others.
The question for us is, "Which set of virtues are we spending more time developing?"
Again, it's a good thing to keep learning and growing in the workplace. I want to be more adept at Microsoft, or writing, or speaking in five years than I am today. But I don't want to see "Made amazing spreadsheets" on my gravestone, and I certainly don't want people talking about my proficiency in church database management at my funeral (for the record, I am proficient at neither of those things).
In Christian circles, the term given to the developing of eulogy virtues is "spiritual formation". Sometimes these virtues are developed intentionally (e.g. we work on growing in patience). However, more often than not, we develop these virtues unintentionally, as we surrender our days to God. Frequently, the fruit of deepening our relationship with God is the formation of character and ability to love and serve the world.
Take a moment to look again at the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) or the armour of God (Ephesians 6:13-17). They are qualities of character. In fact, Paul was so single-mindedly focused on developing the character of Christ in the churches he planted that he wrote to the Galatians:
“Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives."
~ Galatians 4:19
PAUSE and REFLECT:
Let's go back to my question: what virtues are growing in your life these days? I hope I am learning relevant skills for my workplace, career, and hobbies. These are important parts of our lives and interaction with others.
Yet I hope more so I am growing in love, faithfulness, wisdom, patience, courage, kindness, and all the other virtues by which I want to be remembered. Although I may not highlight these on my resume, they will impact my workplace AND every other facet of my life with God and others.
Looking to explore what growing in eulogy virtues may entail? There are numerous authors you can begin to read (Henri Nouwen, Dallas Willard, Eugene Peterson, and Pete Scazzero are a few that immediately come to mind).
The church also offers a great resource called Rhythms of Life that explores growing in love for God, others, ourselves, and creation. Several of us have been going through this three-part series since January. However, you can get started on your own by downloading Part 1: Ruthless Wellness (an assessment of our current spiritual and relational health).
Spiritual formation is how Christ is formed in us, which is the best way to directly and indirectly develop eulogy virtues. How can you begin (or continue) the journey today?