When "Follow me" Stops Working
You are likely well-familiar with the call of Jesus to follow him. The gospel authors record over twenty times Jesus told people, "Follow me." It was his first command (John 1:43) and his last (John 21:22).
However, sandwiched between these invitations to follow him, just before going to the Cross, Jesus introduces a new invitation: "Abide in me" (John 15:4).
The invitations to follow Jesus and abide in Jesus cannot be separated. In fact, abiding in Jesus is the only way we will ever be able to follow Jesus from a place of rest or do any ministry in his name.
In her book Cultivating Shalom: Finding peace in the midst of disruption, uncertainty and ordinary life, author Deb Judas puts it this way:
“When we are relying on sheer will power and discipline, doing all the right things in an effort to live the way of Jesus, we will never experience shalom. We will be so depleted and worn out because we are relying on our own strength rather than the Holy Spirit’s power. How many of us are walking around in this condition? We will never be able to love others well with this approach"
In other words, without the abiding, following Jesus becomes a matter of will power and effort alone. We follow the commands of Jesus in our own strength, often secretly praising ourselves for our successes (because we did it on our own, right?) and castigating ourselves (or blaming others) for our failures.
When we follow Jesus without abiding in Jesus, life with him is no longer about rest and grace. Instead, the fruit of this kind of Christianity is often pride, comparison to others, rule-following, and / or spiritual depression. There is certainly no joy.
In an upcoming episode of the Luminous Podcast, I spoke to guest John Hall about spiritual authority. We talked about what it is and isn't (his answer may surprise you), and at one point I asked John what were some of the common roadblocks followers of Jesus face to walking in spiritual authority.
Without hesitation he replied, "A lack of intimacy with Jesus that comes from abiding in him."
In order to follow Jesus well, we must abide in him. Sadly, however, this is one of my biggest struggles in my walk with God (and this coming from a guy who has a Masters degree in Spiritual Formation!). I love lists and being able to check things off, and it's easy to make "abiding" just another to-do in following Jesus. Did I pray? Did I read my Bible? Did I meditate on the Word?
As soon as abiding becomes a to-do item, it stops being abiding. We need to ensure that nurturing intimacy with Jesus is not relegated to "a time." Back to Deb Judas:
"Think about [abiding in] Jesus in terms of him being with you in your everyday life. We don’t go to a place (church) to see him. We don’t pick a time (devotion time) to be with him. He is always present with us."
So for me, yes, I need to take time to build my intimacy with Jesus, and I have learned this intimacy is best cultivated through listening and receiving, not talking or doing. Intercessory prayer is important and powerful, but abiding comes best through contemplative prayer.
Similarly, when I go about my everyday life, abiding means operating from a place of rest rather than striving. I'll be honest - this is hard. It goes against almost everything culture teaches us about how to succeed in life, and even what church culture often teaches us about how to "succeed" in our walk with Jesus.
PAUSE and REFLECT:
As you are right now, what fruit are you experiencing from following Jesus? Are you stressed, trying to fit in all your Christian to-dos and be a successful follower of Jesus? Or perhaps you feel like a failure because you haven't met your expectations of what a good Christian should be or do. Or perhaps again you are tired and burnt our from trying. so. hard.
I would suggest all these feeling rise not from wanting or doing the wrong things, but from doing the right things in our own strength. In other words, from a lack of abiding.
As mentioned, it's tough for goal oriented people to not turn abiding into another checklist item, but what would it be like to give yourself the gift of cultivating intimacy with Jesus in your life?
HOW TO START
Here's a simple way to start: sit in a quiet, comfortable place and put on some headphones. Listen to a worship song. Just listen. Don't try to actively worship (in the sense of singing or talking). Rather, let the words and music wash over you - enjoy them, savour them. Let them be, and rest.
When the song is over, remain sitting quietly with palms upward, perhaps repeating "I receive your love" whenever you feel your thoughts drifting. Stay here for as long as you want or until the day presses in to the point where it can no longer be ignored. It may be thirty seconds, or five minutes. The length of time doesn't matter, and you shouldn't set a time goal. Just let it be, and rest.
As you sit, what are you sensing in your spirit? Love? Peace? Doubt (that anything is happening)? Simply notice your feelings. You don't need to change them. Let them be, and rest.
When you continue on with your day, perhaps following Jesus won't feel like it did before your abiding. Even if it's for the briefest of times, perhaps you will experience what it's like to follow Jesus from a place of rest.
That is, until the day's pressures crash in. But that's ok, because tomorrow you can do the same, and the day after that, and after that. You are cultivating your sense of abiding in Jesus, and it will slowly transform your following.