Great expectations are not always great
When was the last time someone dashed your expectations? What did they do, or not do? How did you react?
Now for the difficult question: did you even pause to consider that maybe it was your expectations that were in the wrong, and not the person's actions?
Expectations, and broken expectations, are a fact of life. However, when it comes to life with God, expectations can be deadly to the Christian journey.
Time and time again we see in the gospels how Jesus did not match personal or cultural expectations, thus the people around him missed noticing what God was doing, and often flat out rejected Jesus as Messiah.
In Matthew 11:16-17 Jesus said his generation was like a person who plays a song and expects the appropriate response to their music.
“To what can I compare this generation? It is like children playing a game in the public square. They complain to their friends,
‘We played wedding songs,
and you didn’t dance,
so we played funeral songs,
and you didn’t mourn.’"
In other words, the people rejected Jesus and his message because he did not conform to their expectations of the coming Messiah and do what they wanted their Messiah to do.
That may be well and good for the shallow crowds to whom Jesus is speaking, but even the follower of Jesus must guard against expectations. We can easily become disappointed or offended by him if he doesn't do what we want, or does do what we don't want.
If we read a little further back in Matthew 11, we see one of Jesus' strongest supporters - John the Baptist - was in danger of losing faith due to his expectations. John the Baptist, who is languishing in prison, sends messengers to Jesus, asking, "Are the Messiah we've been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?" (11:3). If we read between the lines of this question, it is clear that thus far Jesus had not been the Messiah he was expecting.
Jesus doesn't answer John's question directly, but instead points to the signs: “Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen— the blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor” (11:4-5).
Again, read between the lines. Jesus basically says, "The problem is not with what I'm doing, John, but with your expectations. Change your expectations and you will see I am the one for whom you're looking."
And then Jesus caps his answer with the following:
“God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.”
~ Jesus, in Matthew 11:6
When God does not act according to our expectations, we can lose faith and "fall away" from our trusting relationship with him (I speak in the sense of healthy relationship, not falling away from salvation).
So what's the antidote to unhealthy expectations of God? Surrender. And I don't simply mean surrender our expectations in whether God answers our prayers and hopes, but also in how he answers our prayers and hopes.
For example, we pray for help (which is good). Healthy surrender doesn't mean we can't expect God to help us (because he promises he will). It means we surrender our expectations of how he helps us, how he works in our life, howhis presence looks throughout the day. We pray, but we refuse to tell or expect God to answer that prayer a certain way.
The problem is we keep a few expectations in our heart, and if they are left unanswered, we become offended, disappointed, or simply miss God’s unfolding plan in our lives (“This can’t be God because God would...", or "never would…").
This is true of individuals and churches. Individuals think, "When God answer my prayer for help, it will look like this..." (expectation), and miss what God is actually doing (reality). Churches think, "When God answers our prayer for renewal and revival, it will look like this..." (expectation), and miss what God is actually doing (reality).
The only way to stop putting on the blinders of expectations and miss out on what God is doing is through surrender.
PAUSE and REFLECT:
What prayers are in your heart right now? Take a moment to reflect on whether you have unwittingly placed expectations on God for how his movement in your life and prayers will look.
When we surrender our will to God and yield ourselves to his plans and purposes, our expectations evaporate. Rather than waste energy on unhealthy expectations, we can instead focus on awareness of what God is already doing.
Perhaps you'd like to join me and pray the following prayer:
“God, I know you working in my life today. I release my expectations of what that work will look like, and instead ask you to help me notice you as you move throughout my day. Help me to be aware of your presence, that I may join you in your work in my life and in the world.”